Today was one of those days that required a phone call home to Dad. I'll spare the details, but things were not good today, personally or professionally. I was confused, overwhelmed, exhausted. It was one of those moments when I was truly not sure if I was in the right or wrong, if I was walking forward or turning squarely behind. In this low moment, I called my Dad. Calling Dad is like drinking clear, cold spring water. He helped me clear my head, recognize my strengths and gain perspective I desperately needed. He reminded me that though I am living in a crazy place where tension and panic surrounds me every day, I have the insight and experience to deal with it. I have lived a life that has instilled in me the tools I need to weather this storm. I am capable, rational and able to pull apart the truth from the rumor, the danger from the panic, the reality from the hype. I needed to hear that from my Dad; I needed a little faith that I was on the right track. I got just what I needed, and between my Dad and few glasses of good wine, I am going move forward with confidence.
I feel so blessed to have my Dad, my Mom, and all my friends and family back home. Over the last few days I have many conversations with my loved ones back home that I desperately needed to have. I am SO LUCKY to have so many people willing to drop what they are doing to listen, reflect and support. It's been a tough week but boy, oh boy, am I a happy girl tonight. I couldn't ask for a better support system, either here in Venezuela or back home in the US. I know no matter what Venezuela brings me, I am going to take it in stride. On the eve of my thirtieth birthday, I feel that I am where I am supposed to be and there is nothing life can hand me that I will not overcome. What a wonderful feeling.
March 28, 2014
March 26, 2014
Break's a comin'
Caracas continues to go on day by day normally but with an air of anticipation. It's like no one trust the normalcy; people look warily around, waiting for an explosion. So far, the last two weeks has brought mainly calm. There are still some random disruptions, like today when people blocked the entire autopista during the rush hour in order to protest. You know, NBD. I was in my physical therapy appointment and my PTA couldn't get there. She finally arrived as I was leaving, over two hours late. My substitute PTA Shirley, simply said "Es la vida en Caracas- It is the life in Caracas." Indeed, it is the life we lead- constant uncertainty.
I am noticing that the constantly living on edge thing is effecting me differently that I expected. I expected to get all anxious again, like I was in DC, complete with TMJ, trouble sleeping and mild depression. I have not had any such symptoms. Instead, I find myself to be way more aggressive, angry and defensive than what is my usual. It's uncomfortable, carrying around anger like that- I can't decide what is worse, the anxiety or the anger. I chalk it up to rhetoric going around Venezuela right now. All the talk about fascists and dictators and such keeps everyone on the defensive and looking for someone to point fingers at. Even though I live my life as normally as ever, the friction permeates the air and clearly has gotten under my skin.
Given this tense situation, I am looking forward to some of our travels coming up. Tuesday is my birthday and the following weekend my friends from work, Ivan, his Mom and I are flying to Los Roques for the weekend- I couldn't be more stoked. Then, one more week of work and we're off for spring break to Ecuador! Lots of good times ahead and a much needed break from the Caracas craziness!
March 21, 2014
Apoligetic Venting
I have to admit- I am feeling a bit sheepish. Weeks ago, I wrote a rather bombastic, f-bomb-laced post about my abject disdain of President Asshat's policies, executive decisions and general behavior. Well, my feelings on this matter have not changed. However, I now find that my abject disdain has ballooned out to encompass not only Senor Asshat, but basically everyone.
In the beginning, I had a great deal of sympathy for the opposition. Despite being a "democracy", the current governing party in Venezuela, led by President Asshat, certainly behaves more like a socialist dictatorship than a functional democracy. Their decisions are often foolhardy, create obvious damage to the economy and only serve to further alienate the opposition. For example, while creating price controls on many businesses and products helped the poor, this policy completely ignored the obvious inflation the country is currently experiencing, and ran many businesses straight out of business. When the government requires you to sell your products for less than it costs to produce them, your obvious reaction is to close shop. Many of the shops sold out of products in December and never restocked or never reopened; many malls are barren. And thus, the rampant shortages and continued scarcity are not only an independent problem, but they lead to violence. So the cycle continues.
No doubt the opposition has had reason to complain. It's not a good situation. And I can see that they are frustrated. Attempts made by both parties to work together are failed miserably. It's like there is no word for compromise in Spanish. They are at their wits end. People don't behave well on the edge- I know, I've been to counseling school, I get it. However, I guess I expected more from them. More than using trash to set up road blocks, banging pots at 3 in the morning and creating dramatic twitter hashtags. They have real, legitimate concerns that demand addressing, yet they choose to keep kids from going to school and people from going their jobs in order to get their point across. I feel like I am living in an Onion article.
"I couldn't go to work today. There was a tree, old mattress and some burning tires in the middle of the road because there is no toilet paper". Yep, that makes sense to me.
"I'm repressed by a "dictatorial regime" and will voice my outcry by lighting trash on fire in the middle of the roadway....by a gas station." Brilliant.
The dramatic #sosvenezuela #prayforvenezuela twitter trends have proved a double edge sword. While they certainly raised the international awareness of the situation, they have also proved to hurt the cause. Posted pictures of Syria or the Ukraine passed off as taking place in Venezuela or bombastic tweets about violence or repression that turned out to be outright lies have eroded any legitimacy the twitter movement had. Now the "guarimbas", or the people out in the streets blocking roads and raising a racket, are not revolutionaries fighting for their freedom. They are literally just people standing in the middle of the road banging pots.
The activities these members of the opposition have been engaging in over the last six weeks have only hurt their cause. Now, Venezuela still has violence and shortages. But now also the two sides are farther from discourse, farther from compromise and farther from solutions to the very legitimate problems this country is facing. And as for me? I now have a long list of Asshats. El Presidente is still at the top of the list, be he is certainly not alone.
In the beginning, I had a great deal of sympathy for the opposition. Despite being a "democracy", the current governing party in Venezuela, led by President Asshat, certainly behaves more like a socialist dictatorship than a functional democracy. Their decisions are often foolhardy, create obvious damage to the economy and only serve to further alienate the opposition. For example, while creating price controls on many businesses and products helped the poor, this policy completely ignored the obvious inflation the country is currently experiencing, and ran many businesses straight out of business. When the government requires you to sell your products for less than it costs to produce them, your obvious reaction is to close shop. Many of the shops sold out of products in December and never restocked or never reopened; many malls are barren. And thus, the rampant shortages and continued scarcity are not only an independent problem, but they lead to violence. So the cycle continues.
No doubt the opposition has had reason to complain. It's not a good situation. And I can see that they are frustrated. Attempts made by both parties to work together are failed miserably. It's like there is no word for compromise in Spanish. They are at their wits end. People don't behave well on the edge- I know, I've been to counseling school, I get it. However, I guess I expected more from them. More than using trash to set up road blocks, banging pots at 3 in the morning and creating dramatic twitter hashtags. They have real, legitimate concerns that demand addressing, yet they choose to keep kids from going to school and people from going their jobs in order to get their point across. I feel like I am living in an Onion article.
"I couldn't go to work today. There was a tree, old mattress and some burning tires in the middle of the road because there is no toilet paper". Yep, that makes sense to me.
"I'm repressed by a "dictatorial regime" and will voice my outcry by lighting trash on fire in the middle of the roadway....by a gas station." Brilliant.
The dramatic #sosvenezuela #prayforvenezuela twitter trends have proved a double edge sword. While they certainly raised the international awareness of the situation, they have also proved to hurt the cause. Posted pictures of Syria or the Ukraine passed off as taking place in Venezuela or bombastic tweets about violence or repression that turned out to be outright lies have eroded any legitimacy the twitter movement had. Now the "guarimbas", or the people out in the streets blocking roads and raising a racket, are not revolutionaries fighting for their freedom. They are literally just people standing in the middle of the road banging pots.
The activities these members of the opposition have been engaging in over the last six weeks have only hurt their cause. Now, Venezuela still has violence and shortages. But now also the two sides are farther from discourse, farther from compromise and farther from solutions to the very legitimate problems this country is facing. And as for me? I now have a long list of Asshats. El Presidente is still at the top of the list, be he is certainly not alone.
March 17, 2014
Breaking News: My Water and Internet are Both Functioning!
I am happy to report that things seem to be returning to normal here. Given the situation, things could obviously change on a dime, but we have had regular school for seven days in a row, so I am optimistic that the worse is behind us. The government continues to behave at though they have created a paradise that is being mercilessly attacked by crazy fascists, and the the opposition continues to complains loudly (and by banging pots) that Maduro is a dictator and Venezuela is akin to the seventh circle of hell. I, on the other hand, continue to go on ignoring all of them and praying that someone with an ounce of foresight and leadership does something productive...or at least something more productive than building barricades or calling everyone fascists.
Meanwhile, life has gone on rather uneventfully. I started going to physical therapy for my knees. They haven't been worse than usual, but I realized I could go see really great PT's for $5 a session, so I figured I would take advantage of the opportunity. I am really enjoying my sessions, for both the physical benefits and the psychic benefits of getting out of my neighborhood once and a while. This week, they are also helping me with my back, which I totally nailed slipping down a set of stairs WHILE SOBER on Saturday. Today I nailed my arm on a doorknob, so I basically look like I have been beaten by the Guardia Nacional and I feel like it too. Ivan is constantly saying to me "Take care of my girlfriend! Please!" When am I going to outgrow awkward?
Despite my various scrapes, I was very pleased today because we had, for the first time since last Tuesday, water in our apartments. Apparently, a huge water pipe burst under a barrio last week and it cut off water to half the eastern part of the city until today. Given the general mismanagement here, I was expecting the water to be out for quite a bit longer, so needless to say I am THRILLED to report that I am doing laundry right now! Additionally, Ivan installed better internet in my house, so the swiftness of my internet today is making me doubly happy. Finally, because of my faster internet speed, my computer FINALLY finished downloading the 24 episodes of Law and Order SVU that Mr. Grahame Burke dropped for me, so I am going to grab myself some peanut butter eggs that my boss brought back from the states and snuggle into bed to watch some SVU! This is definitely the best Monday I've had in a while! Peanut butter, internet, water? It's amazing how little it takes now to make me happy! It's incredible how we adapt to our circumstances. But hey, I have always loved the little things in life. So, now all I need is milk and toilet paper and I'll be in heaven!
Meanwhile, life has gone on rather uneventfully. I started going to physical therapy for my knees. They haven't been worse than usual, but I realized I could go see really great PT's for $5 a session, so I figured I would take advantage of the opportunity. I am really enjoying my sessions, for both the physical benefits and the psychic benefits of getting out of my neighborhood once and a while. This week, they are also helping me with my back, which I totally nailed slipping down a set of stairs WHILE SOBER on Saturday. Today I nailed my arm on a doorknob, so I basically look like I have been beaten by the Guardia Nacional and I feel like it too. Ivan is constantly saying to me "Take care of my girlfriend! Please!" When am I going to outgrow awkward?
Despite my various scrapes, I was very pleased today because we had, for the first time since last Tuesday, water in our apartments. Apparently, a huge water pipe burst under a barrio last week and it cut off water to half the eastern part of the city until today. Given the general mismanagement here, I was expecting the water to be out for quite a bit longer, so needless to say I am THRILLED to report that I am doing laundry right now! Additionally, Ivan installed better internet in my house, so the swiftness of my internet today is making me doubly happy. Finally, because of my faster internet speed, my computer FINALLY finished downloading the 24 episodes of Law and Order SVU that Mr. Grahame Burke dropped for me, so I am going to grab myself some peanut butter eggs that my boss brought back from the states and snuggle into bed to watch some SVU! This is definitely the best Monday I've had in a while! Peanut butter, internet, water? It's amazing how little it takes now to make me happy! It's incredible how we adapt to our circumstances. But hey, I have always loved the little things in life. So, now all I need is milk and toilet paper and I'll be in heaven!
March 9, 2014
A Delightfully Simple Weekend
This weekend was a welcomed reprieve from the craziness that has been taking place over the last couple of weeks. Friday we had REGULAR SCHOOL IN THE BUILDING!!! It was amazing to get back and see the kids and my co-workers. Everyone seemed happy to be back and the general mood was positive. The good times continued on Saturday when Walli and I got out and about and did some grocery shopping away from our usual spot. Our grocery store next to our apartment is small and often particularly under-stocked, so getting out and checking out the competition is a major high around here.
Yes, going to a different grocery store is akin to winning the lottery. It's the small things people. We did find quite a few items we haven't been able to get in weeks, like beer and dish soap. We felt like conquistadors who had triumphed over far away lands, with our shopping carts full of coveted soap, pasta and beer. After our very successful shopping venture, Ivan came over and we had a TERRIFIC five hour nap! Five hours! With all the stress of the uncertainty around here, my sleeping has gone to shit. It's like living in DC all over again, which is such a bummer because I had gone MONTHS without sleeping pills. I am hoping I'll get exhausted enough to pass out hard one night this week and reset my system.
After our nap of justice, Ivan and I went to our new favorite Italian place that is right down the street from my house. We have a favorite meal to share- Caesar salad and prosciutto pizza. To DIE for- it's so good! After dinner, we wanted to go to the movies. We weren't sure what to see and just picked the Legend of Hercules because the time was good. After the fact, I realized we should have consulted IMDb before making that decision. I would have gladly waited around for an hour to see something better, because that movie was absolutely terrible. It wasn't so terrible it was funny. It took itself just seriously enough to make it not campy but instead just very, very bad. I think you could probably make a drinking game out of it (drink when there is bad use of old English, drink when someone gets stabbed yet doesn't bleed or react in any negative way whatsoever), but otherwise, I would probably pass on this one. However, we still love going to the movies, because they really do it up here in Venezuela when it comes to theaters. The cinemas are really nicely decorated and almost classy, with a bar area for eating and real food served at the concession stand. There is lots of red velvet and pretty lit up movie posters and the bathrooms are super fancy, which is a very big plus in my book. Finally, the seats are SO comfortable, lean back and give you plenty of leg room. So between the actor playing Hercules being really good looking and the comfy seats, the night didn't end all that badly:).
Today was another long pool day, which was made particularly nice because the pool is a) not green and b) heated now. So all and all, a great, very normal weekend. It's funny how in the US, this weekend would have been considered quite normal and probably painfully boring. But here, getting groceries without fighting barricades and going to the movies with incident is a fun and successful weekend. It's almost nice to be appreciating more the simple things in life. But, really, it's easy to appreciate anything when compared to barricades and tear gas! Pray that we have a "simple" week this week!
Yes, going to a different grocery store is akin to winning the lottery. It's the small things people. We did find quite a few items we haven't been able to get in weeks, like beer and dish soap. We felt like conquistadors who had triumphed over far away lands, with our shopping carts full of coveted soap, pasta and beer. After our very successful shopping venture, Ivan came over and we had a TERRIFIC five hour nap! Five hours! With all the stress of the uncertainty around here, my sleeping has gone to shit. It's like living in DC all over again, which is such a bummer because I had gone MONTHS without sleeping pills. I am hoping I'll get exhausted enough to pass out hard one night this week and reset my system.
After our nap of justice, Ivan and I went to our new favorite Italian place that is right down the street from my house. We have a favorite meal to share- Caesar salad and prosciutto pizza. To DIE for- it's so good! After dinner, we wanted to go to the movies. We weren't sure what to see and just picked the Legend of Hercules because the time was good. After the fact, I realized we should have consulted IMDb before making that decision. I would have gladly waited around for an hour to see something better, because that movie was absolutely terrible. It wasn't so terrible it was funny. It took itself just seriously enough to make it not campy but instead just very, very bad. I think you could probably make a drinking game out of it (drink when there is bad use of old English, drink when someone gets stabbed yet doesn't bleed or react in any negative way whatsoever), but otherwise, I would probably pass on this one. However, we still love going to the movies, because they really do it up here in Venezuela when it comes to theaters. The cinemas are really nicely decorated and almost classy, with a bar area for eating and real food served at the concession stand. There is lots of red velvet and pretty lit up movie posters and the bathrooms are super fancy, which is a very big plus in my book. Finally, the seats are SO comfortable, lean back and give you plenty of leg room. So between the actor playing Hercules being really good looking and the comfy seats, the night didn't end all that badly:).
Today was another long pool day, which was made particularly nice because the pool is a) not green and b) heated now. So all and all, a great, very normal weekend. It's funny how in the US, this weekend would have been considered quite normal and probably painfully boring. But here, getting groceries without fighting barricades and going to the movies with incident is a fun and successful weekend. It's almost nice to be appreciating more the simple things in life. But, really, it's easy to appreciate anything when compared to barricades and tear gas! Pray that we have a "simple" week this week!
March 4, 2014
Surviving Carnival in Caracas: An Insiders Guide
Well, I've calmed down a bit. Senor Asshat chose wisely not to cancel life for the rest of this week, so hopefully we can report to school as usual Wednesday-Friday. However, word on the Whatsapp street says that another fresh barrage of barricades is planed for 5am tomorrow, so who knows. It's madness. And it's taking a toll.
This weekend, tempers flared at Ivan's surprise birthday party between us expats and the Junta, basically the HOA of our apartment building. I'll spare the details but as of now, the six Expats in my building are personas non-gratis around the building. Really, we are chalking up to tensions. Everyone is on edge and just looking for something to take out aggression on. This weekend, it was us. Last week, it was my blog:).
Despite all, we have managed to have a great week. Last Wednesday, we CIC peeps got together and celebrated Ivan and Catherine's birthdays with a BBQ at Catherine's apartment. My boss Kelly made two DELICIOUS cakes for the occasion and we all had a grand time feasting on grilled delicacies and cake. It worked out great because we had virtual school on Thursday and Ivan had fake "holidays" Thursday and Friday, so our weekends started early. Ivan and I spent time with his family on Thursday night for his birthday and then Friday we got some stuff done.
Saturday was the big surprise party for Ivan's birthday. I had spent weeks planning it with his friends over Whatsapp, mainly in Spanish! We reserved the pool area of my apartment and were ready to go on Saturday morning. Just as everyone was arriving around 2pm, I got a call from Ivan, who was on his way over to my apartment. His car had broken down! AHHH! So, instead of just me coming to get him, his entire friend group came to get him! Only half way down the hill, he called to say he got his car working again! And unfortunately he caught up with us on the way back to my apartment! Thankfully, he was so mad about his car he didn't really catch on to what was going on, so by the time we made it down to the pool, there was a great group of people waiting to wish him a surprise happy birthday, and thus commenced a great party! Around 8pm we had the showdown with our Junta and the sober people of the group wisely shepherded us all up to Gordon's apartment where the party continued on. Ivan was so surprised and happy, and I was just relieved he didn't ever truly catch on! The next morning we went down to help Gordon clean his apartment....it reminded me of our old Carrollton Terrace days in college! What a mess! But it was worth it for sure:).
Sunday, Catherine, Carlos, Ivan and I walked down to a park about a 40 minute walk from our apartments and then got some delicious sushi. It was so nice to get out of the house and enjoy the day. And today, Ivan and I drove over to another park nearby with some great hikes and even some old Indian caves! We did a little spelunking along with our hiking, which was super cool! Getting out and enjoying the days is saving my sanity, even if I am not travelling far from home. The icing on the cake today was going to the Italian restaurant near my house which I had never tried before and eating THE BEST salmon tortellini in cream sauce! It was AMAZING. And a great end to our Carnival holiday. We were all a little bummed not to be able to get away for Carnival, but we are certainly making the best of it. I am blessed with a really wonderful group of friends here who all look after each other, try to be positive and love having fun. Together we are going to weather this storm, I am certain! As long as I can still abuse my blog once and a while to get my feelings out, I'll be okay. It's better than damaging property- that would really get the Junta angry! :)
This weekend, tempers flared at Ivan's surprise birthday party between us expats and the Junta, basically the HOA of our apartment building. I'll spare the details but as of now, the six Expats in my building are personas non-gratis around the building. Really, we are chalking up to tensions. Everyone is on edge and just looking for something to take out aggression on. This weekend, it was us. Last week, it was my blog:).
Despite all, we have managed to have a great week. Last Wednesday, we CIC peeps got together and celebrated Ivan and Catherine's birthdays with a BBQ at Catherine's apartment. My boss Kelly made two DELICIOUS cakes for the occasion and we all had a grand time feasting on grilled delicacies and cake. It worked out great because we had virtual school on Thursday and Ivan had fake "holidays" Thursday and Friday, so our weekends started early. Ivan and I spent time with his family on Thursday night for his birthday and then Friday we got some stuff done.
Saturday was the big surprise party for Ivan's birthday. I had spent weeks planning it with his friends over Whatsapp, mainly in Spanish! We reserved the pool area of my apartment and were ready to go on Saturday morning. Just as everyone was arriving around 2pm, I got a call from Ivan, who was on his way over to my apartment. His car had broken down! AHHH! So, instead of just me coming to get him, his entire friend group came to get him! Only half way down the hill, he called to say he got his car working again! And unfortunately he caught up with us on the way back to my apartment! Thankfully, he was so mad about his car he didn't really catch on to what was going on, so by the time we made it down to the pool, there was a great group of people waiting to wish him a surprise happy birthday, and thus commenced a great party! Around 8pm we had the showdown with our Junta and the sober people of the group wisely shepherded us all up to Gordon's apartment where the party continued on. Ivan was so surprised and happy, and I was just relieved he didn't ever truly catch on! The next morning we went down to help Gordon clean his apartment....it reminded me of our old Carrollton Terrace days in college! What a mess! But it was worth it for sure:).
Sunday, Catherine, Carlos, Ivan and I walked down to a park about a 40 minute walk from our apartments and then got some delicious sushi. It was so nice to get out of the house and enjoy the day. And today, Ivan and I drove over to another park nearby with some great hikes and even some old Indian caves! We did a little spelunking along with our hiking, which was super cool! Getting out and enjoying the days is saving my sanity, even if I am not travelling far from home. The icing on the cake today was going to the Italian restaurant near my house which I had never tried before and eating THE BEST salmon tortellini in cream sauce! It was AMAZING. And a great end to our Carnival holiday. We were all a little bummed not to be able to get away for Carnival, but we are certainly making the best of it. I am blessed with a really wonderful group of friends here who all look after each other, try to be positive and love having fun. Together we are going to weather this storm, I am certain! As long as I can still abuse my blog once and a while to get my feelings out, I'll be okay. It's better than damaging property- that would really get the Junta angry! :)
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