Boldly Going Where I Have Never Gone Before

Graduate school is upon me. I know that when people begin something new, the often say that they are "excited and scared!", so it would be cliche for me to also say that I am excited and scared. Truth is, I am more ecstatic and terrified.

I've spent a great deal of my life avoiding a committed life plan. I've clung for a long time to the idea that if I wanted, I should be able to take off at the drop of a hat to xyz Latin American country and live the tragic and wonderful surf bum life. My liberal arts background, wino career and three TFA rejections are only a few of the stunning examples of my ability to accomplish feats that fail to lead me in any particular direction.

Right now, I finally feel like I have turned a corner. I have a plan that inspires me. I realize where this plan will lead me, and I understand the great difficulties and sacrifices that are involved, yet I am at peace with the plan. Though you can never be sure of anything, I am confident that I have made the right decision to return to school. It's going to be interesting, to say the least. I have a lot of old college habits and mindsets that are going to have to change. No more Freedom. No more tasteless jokes. Foxfield will have to be a lot tamer for me this year. But I know the things I gain will far outweigh what I aim to lose- the ability to listen and really hear, the capability to help others better themselves, a deeper appreciation for my fellow man.

Eventually the time comes for every man to stand up and better himself. My time has come. God help me to not screw it up.

Hugs, love, and quiet Friday nights

Tonight, I just wanted to be quiet. Though I don't tend to gravitate towards silence, I'm beginning to realize how much of life is better understood without words.

My evening of quiet was inspired by my roommate. He's falling in love. He didn't tell me this, but I can tell. He plays the piano with more vigor. He smiles, even when he is annoyed. He hugs me more, which is great because he gives excellent hugs. He floats rather than walking.

Love is patient and kind- it also grows quietly but with great purpose. Sometimes, love is certainly not quiet. It can come out in screams and sonnets and song, and is equally beautiful in all forms. But I contend, the greatest love to behold is the silent type. Love that permeates the air, is shared through a touch, passed in a gaze, felt in the heart.

Maybe all the love in the air is squelching the noise usually associated with the mid-20's lifestyle. Maybe I'm just getting to old to go out on Friday nights. Either way, I'm glad that I decided to revel in quiet for a while this evening. I hope to become more comfortable in quiet spaces. The quiet helps me appreciate the present so much more. And I hope that my roommate continues exuding love all over my apartment. The extra hugs are a great thing to come home to.