Epic Snow Win

It snowed again. In Charlottesville. I know, shocking, especially considering all of Al Gore's talk about global warming. Global shwarming if you ask me. Anyways, this is not a political discussion. This is a tribute to snow.

I am not usually a fan of snow. Around age 12, much to my Christian parent’s absolute horror, I began to refer to it as "Angel Shit". Ahhh, the things you learn in 6th grade. Truly, I've never seen much use for snow. It's cold. It impedes my travel. It's only pretty for the first 2 hours and then it's polluted by the general ilk of mammal excrement.

Yesterday, gentle readers, I changed my mind about snow, because yesterday I sledded down the best sledding hill in Charlottesville with 30 other people. How did I accomplish such a terrific feat, you may ask? The simple ingenuity of drunken college students, that’s how!

See, my roommates and I didn't have a sled. It was sad times, but we improvised, because we are smart graduate students. We had a raft. And as we walked through the field towards the hill, all eyes were on us: those f-ing brilliant sons of bitches with a raft. Watching all those sledders using dining hall trays, garbage can lids, cardboard and recycle bins hang their heads in shame was a moment of epic glory for my roommates and I.

So after a couple of good runs, we noticed some college kids with an air mattress getting all up in our territory. Bitch please. We obvi had to challenge them to a duel- a sledding duel. We strategerized. Refilled some air, put the fat kids in the front. Unfortunately, an air mattress just fits more people than a raft, and weight ultimately wins in feats of distance sledding.

While we trudged back up the hill, we noticed a new set of air mattress college students had arrived. The hill just wasn't big enough for all three (and the 1500 little kids whose lives we were constantly putting in jeopardy with our boat sized sleds). So, like any good mildly drunk twenty somethings, we came up with the ingenious idea of putting all of our vessels together. The sled of justice was born.

Now, obviously, the best way to string together two air mattresses and a raft are by laying people across the three, and then laying more people across those people. Duh. And so it went. Boys on the bottom, girls on the top, and one really unlucky drunk guy who got stuck in the bed of the raft under at least seven other people. It was more than 30 people all together, and let me tell you, those damn kids on sleds- they got the hell out of the way.