I went to the bank today to deposit a couple checks. Before I handed the checks to the teller, I happened to notice the memo lines. They were labeled "inner peace" and "professional development", respectively. I couldn't help but giggle at the dichotomy; those two memo lines did a great job of summing up the struggle I seem to be facing these days.
Graduate school isn't exactly conducive to life role balance. I have found the great majority of my time is spent on matters concerning my professional development. Inner peace? Well, it's fallen a little to the wayside. It is like a seesaw, with "professional development" on one side and "inner peace" on the other. Basically, "inner peace" got off to go on play on the swings and "professional development" just kept sitting on the seesaw. I figured I would just let the seesaw stay unbalanced and push through- graduate school is only two years after all!
Unfortunately, seesaws are no fun with just one person. Likewise, life is no fun if it's unbalanced. I found that out the hard way this week, when after my second flat tire in two days and another epic battle with financial aid, I just lost it. I just cried bitter, angry tears, that I quickly realized had very little to do with student financial services or my tires. Rather, I was tired. Tired of the tunnel vision sort of existence I had been living. Tired of my total lack of perspective. And tired...literally.
The great thing was there were plenty of people willing to get on my life seesaw with me, to help me re-establish balance. My boyfriend, my boss, my parents and roommates and girlfriends. I'm lucky- not everyone has people who love them enough to take on the life seesaw. Likewise, not everyone has friends silly enough to write "inner peace" on a check memo line....
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