Letters Unsent

Dear Blog,

I promised I would not use you for the powers of evil. I meant it. I really did. But tonight, I have had just enough wine that my need to over share is just too much for me to contain. I have some letters to write, some things to get off my chest. I am sorry to use you to this end, but I really have no choice. The power of the vino compels me.

Dear Ex-Boyfriend,

Please stop hanging out on your front porch so much. I have to drive by your house EVERY F-ING DAY, and seeing you have fun without me is really impeding my healing process. It's irrational, but all your porch loitering makes me feel like you don't give a shit. Throw me a bone, please?

Dear Disposable Income,

Why do I spend you on wine and fried food? I should spend you on paying off my car and knee surgery. I hope you don't judge me for my misappropriations.

Dear Virginia Wine Industry,

You are a hot, hot gossipy mess. But I can't quit you. And I hope that you don't interfere with my pursuit of higher education. Because the lower education you have provided to me has been so awesome. Hot mess.

Dear Grad School,

Don't make me hate my life. I fear you, revere you and depend on you to complete me. Don't fail me. I have $20000 banking on you.

Dear Promissory Note,

You are the scariest 17 pages I have ever read. Please don't take my uterus if I don't pay back my loan..

Dear Poopie,

If you were here right now, you would highly discourage this post. And I would ignore your warnings, but wish I listened to you after the fact. This is why you are my best friend.

Dear Leprechaun,

Thank you for letting me be in your wedding. I have not been so proud and excited in years. I love you.

Dear Roommates,

You are a consistently positive influence on my life. I am extremely grateful for you all.

Dear Preston Ave,

The cycle for your traffic lights is senseless and dangerous. Get your shit together, stat. Thank you.

Dear Women Who Don't Like Red Wine,

I judge you. We can't be friends.

Dear Band,

I live for our trips. You really don't know how much of my happiness you are responsible for.

Dear Friend who I never dated but should have,

I am sorry I drunkenly told you I never dated you but should have. I am too old for that sort of behavior and I am sorry. We had our chance and I should have left my hope behind a long time ago.

Dear Hetero,

You complete me. Who needs a therapist when I have you? I was serious when I said we should vacation in CA. That would be epic. On an unrelated note, I'm still sorry I never married your brother.

Dear Daniel,

I am so sorry I fail at calling. It's not because I don't want to talk, it's because I literally suck at calling.

Dear Mom & Dad,

You really did a good job as parents. You're still doing a great job. I'm sorry you didn't work out. I really am.

Dear my Martin Guitar,

I am so, so sorry I never learned to play you. It was my loss, I swear.

Dear Teach For America,

I am sorry I rebuked you three times. I think you are a great cause, you just weren't the cause for me. I'm sorry it took me three deferrals to realize it.

Dear my old landlord,

I can't really talk about how I feel about you because we are in a pending lawsuit, but check back in a few months and I'll have a nice little diatribe for your reading pleasure.

Dear morning,

You always come too soon. There are so many mornings I wish would have never come and those I wish would dawn twice. I'll never understand you. Even if I get a coffee maker, you will never cease to rile me.

Dear my Louisa Students,

I think about you all everyday. In fact, the only time I pray is when I pray for your happiness and personal success. You meant more to me than I could ever express.

Dear God,

I'm sorry I pray so irregularly. And overindulge in wine and fried food. And doubt everything I was ever taught in bible school. I hope you pull me back into your fold one day. I hope it's okay that one day isn't today.

Be Well,

Tracey