Excerpt from my CA vacation, written on the plane....

....When you fly west in the United States, you get three hours of sunset if you time it right. And if you fly Virgin Air, you can get a huge airplane bottle of Absinthe, too. One bottle in, I'm feeling particularly contented with myself, nestled happily in my leather seat with my on demand music videos and mood lighting. Even the baby behind me and the guy next to me with a cold cannot interfere with the level of contentment I am experiencing right now. In fact, I am so compelled by my contentment that I am writing about it in the back of the novel I am reading...or not reading at the moment, as it were.

Here's the situation as I see it. Contentment- true, internal contentment- really has nothing to do with the three hour sunsets and large quantities of quality liquor. These things just made me realize the full extent of how at peace I am becoming with my life. Now, don't get me wrong, I still bitch plenty and have days where the only peace in my life is the huge piece of pie that I am eating. But through all the work and relationship trials, the bills, the dirty kitchen, and the insane traffic situation on Preston Ave, I am growing this patch of calm in my soul that is really a stabilizing force for me right now. I feel that, just maybe, true contentment may be beginning to harbour inside me, and though it's dock is small right now, the sea around it is slowly growing quieter. I'm learning that contentment isn't a physical place- not some vacation I can get to, or safty in the arms of someone else. Contentment is something I must work for, something that grows both slowly and quietly, and must constantly be cultivated, especially in life's most harried moments. Contentment is the deep understanding and appreciation that we are all blessed, even in the darkest of times. Contentment is a walk, a long one....a lifelong one. It's what we all strive for- not the money, the prestige, the love- it's all just contentment. And it's a beautiful moment when we suddenly stop and realize the extent of out contentment, whether that extent is limited to a moment, or a year, or a lifetime.

My contentment? It's fleeting, sure. My contentment is in the seedling levels of it's cultivation. But the sun is finally setting, the guy with the cold and the baby are both sleeping, and my best friend sitting next to me just reminded me that it's time for another Absinthe and Sprite. It's going to be a good flight....